Michael Carrick has opened up on his mental challenge after suffering depression for two years and urging others to speak out instead of suffering in silence
The Ex Manchester United midfielder turned assistant manager admits he was desperate to return home from the World Cup and nobody truly knew how he felt.
He told talkSPORT: “I was having a bit of a tough time personally in 2009/2010 and it came to a head in South Africa.
“At the World Cup in 2010, I was finding it tough and I literally didn’t want to be there.
“I remember saying to Lisa, my wife, I just want to come home. Even now when I’m explaining it I find it difficult to understand why I felt like that because it was my dream, but that’s how I was feeling.
“I’m quite independent, reserved and stubborn in many ways. I just thought I’d get through it myself. Not many people really knew – my wife Lisa knew a bit, my mum and dad knew a bit, but I didn’t really let on to them because I didn’t want to put it onto them as much.
I didn’t really want help. Maybe I should’ve spoken to someone and it would’ve eased how down I was feeling, or whether it would’ve been taken less time to get over it.
“Speaking about it would’ve made it easier and I would urge if anyone is going through something similar – pull someone aside and share because it will make things a lot easier.”
carrick also opened up on Jose Mourinho drawing similarities between themselves.
“I liken him to myself,” Carrick said. “On one side, there’s this personality that’s driven, stubborn, cold, professional. I would go to training and just do everything I could to succeed. It was only winning that mattered.
“But then away from that, I’d be the family man, I’d be daddy, I’d be the husband. I’d be playing golf for instance, and if I won, I won, if I didn’t, then whatever.
“There’s almost a split personality there. When it comes to football, it’s win at all costs. You’ve got to have that way and Jose’s exactly the same as me.
“He’s been nothing but brilliant – to give me the role that he’s given me and to help me. Obviously it’s challenging for me but it’s an unbelievable opportunity and he’s there for me when I’ve needed him. Sometimes from the outside it’s not always as it seems.
“Jose is an unbelievable manager; he’s proven that over many years, there’s not many as good as him for what he’s won.
“Yeah, things aren’t exactly what we all want, but time can change that and it’s up to us to do that.”
He also believes people are putting too much pressure on Paul Pogba by expecting too much, suggesting it is unfair
“It’s not realistic to pin that all on Paul,” he added. “He’s a terrific player and we all know what Paul can do but it’s not all on him by any means.
“I’m enjoying working with the players, I’m enjoying trying to help them.”