Saudi Arabia Crown Prince Distance Self From Oppressive Manchester United

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There have been reports that the Saudi crown prince is interested in buying Manchester United but new information states otherwise.

According to information made available by Back of the Net exclusively to FourFourTwo, the Saudi Arabian Royal Family wants nothing to do with Manchester United whom they have labelled as oppressive.

“The Saudi royal family would like to distance itself from any links with Jose Mourinho and his despotic regime,” a spokesman for Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman told FourFourTwo.

“Frankly we feel offended that anyone could believe we would get involved with a tyrannical leader who rules by fear and stamps out any sniff of opposition brutally and without remorse.

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“The idea that we would risk the universally adored name of the House of Saud and its cuddly reputation by siding with this Special One and his potato-headed usurer boss [Ed Woodward] is laughable.”

“We call upon Manchester United to cease the inhumane treatment of [Paul Pogba] immediately and to release him to [Real Madrid],” the spokesman continued.

“It is hard to believe that the international community is willing to stay quiet just because they don’t want to lose their beneficial business relationships with [Manchester United].

“Nobody should suffer as Pogba has, being unsure whether at any minute they might be made to come on as a sub out of position against Brighton just to prove a point.”

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PS: It is a satirical material.